guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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