Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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