: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
