You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize