we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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