Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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