Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
