There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
