I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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