...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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