don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
