Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
