How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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