I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
