how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
