I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize