I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
