Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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