Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
