Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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