they need to just BURY HIM!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
