found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
