oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Houston, we have a squirter
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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