I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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