Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
