I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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