I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
