I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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