my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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