windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
