whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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