Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
