Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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