is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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