I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
