Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
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high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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