he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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