You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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