Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This is classic penis vs brain.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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