you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
PANTIES FOUND
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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