suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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