If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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