Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
