I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
as a side note pls kill me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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