we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
