What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I puked a lego.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize