Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize