My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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