yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
