i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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