Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what day is it and did you see me today?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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