i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
