Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
