I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
