I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
