the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize