Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
