Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
